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Good morning,

I’d like to start my sermon today with a question:  “How many people out there remember your first day of school or have stories about your child’s first day or first week of school?  Were there difficulties, or crying, or was it just “bye mom, bye dad!” and off they go?” Whatever it was, I hope you’ll be able to relate to parts of my recent experience.

Last Monday was Jubei’s first day of pre-kindergarten. He’s never really been outside of family or church for long periods of time. But fortunately for us, he was excited to get the chance to play with lots of kids, being able to play in the playground everyday!, and his cousin Emily would be somewhere in the same building, so he was just gung-ho about going school for the first time.  

As I watched other kids cling to their parents on that first morning. I thought, “Wow, piece of cake!” as Jubei gave me a hug and took off with “Ittekimas!” After school, Jubei was a little zombied and exhausted, but all the kids had that look, understandable for a big day. It was arranged for Teresa to drop them off in the mornings, and I was to pick them up after work from then on.  But Jubei’s face when I came to pick him up throughout the week went like this:  All Smiles, Ok face, Moping, to desperate crying. What is going on? Each day during our individual time, Andy and I had been asking Jubei what he did at school. On the first day, he said, “half the kids don’t listen to the teacher!”

Then there was one early incident where a boy playing at the dinosaur station told him to “go away”, so he went somewhere else and seemed fine with it. And there was a later incident where someone took his ball during gym class while he was tying his shoe, but assuming they all shared balls, we just told him to ask the teacher for another one if it happens again. Nothing to worry about.

But on Thursday night, when I had to hold him for 2 hours while he broke down just sobbing while repeating “I don’t want to go to school, I want to stay here,” …we had to dig for the details.  It seems this “go away” incident is reoccurring with the same boy in the station Jubei wants to be at the most. The boy who took his ball in gym didn’t just take it, he hit Jubei with it 3 times, so Jubei just sat next to the wall for the rest of class. And there’s a boy who keeps bumping into him on purpose, even after he’s asked him to stop.

Jubei begged me to take him to school on Friday morning, and after our talk that night, and being promised hot chocolate w/4 big marshmallows when he got home if he didn’t cry, he left feeling good. But as we neared the door, he pulled back crying, and clung to me. When I told him to just stay away from that boy, he said “but he follows me.” A little more alarmed, reminding him that I will be back with papa to talk to the teacher after school today, I had to help his teacher get him off of me.

Taking a deep breath, I couldn’t let myself get upset because Genji was waiting there for me w/Auntie Teresa, so remembering what I had taught Jubei the night before, I prayed for the safety of the children, and their day at school.

At this point, I would like to share with you what was going through my head as I learned about each incident.

When the boy told Jubei to “go away,” Jubei was a little hurt. I was grateful he did not get angry, so I told him he did a good job by going somewhere else to play and trying again later. But when I found out about the boy hitting him with the ball, I had to refer to this teaching to keep me in line. #264 in the Voice of the Universe, reads:

Those who have just started practicing faith, immediately get upset when others speak ill of them. They are not able to repress their anger and some of them even retaliate...

[Jubei is physically capable of taking this other kid out, and frankly, part of me wants to tell him, next time it happens, just tackle him!]

…but the teaching goes on to say…

However, when they deepen their faith a little, they will get angry but will be able to tolerate others speaking ill of them since they keep in mind that they are practicing faith in Kami.

As a person deepens their faith more, they will not get angry even when others speak ill of them. On the contrary, they will feel sorry for those people.” (GIII Jinkyu Kyogoroku 191-3, 4, 5)

Knowing this teaching, I had to tell Jubei when things like this happen, let the teacher know. They are there to protect you. And sometimes people are disrespectful or hurt others because they are scared or maybe they weren’t taught how to be respectful. Let’s pray for them too, so that they can be happy, ok? Listening carefully between sobs, Jubei said ok.

Feeling sorry or “being concerned” for someone else happens when you’re thinking about the other person, and not yourself. Realizing that you can only do this if you yourself are secure and have a solid foundation, I tried to think of how to create a new fence for Jubei.

The Thursday night crying incident took place after Andy had gone to sleep for the night, so Genji stayed close by me during this whole incident, but wouldn’t come sit on the other side of my lap while Jubei was there. I explained to Genji why Jubei was crying, and it was as if he understood that Jubei needed my full attention. Looking at Genji, I thought, “Goshinmai! (sacred rice & paper).”   Goshinmai to my kids represents Faith, Konko sama, & Kami, because it has the Divine Reminder on its cover. But instead of Goshimai, I remembered something better-I had a little cell phone trinket I found while cleaning my desk a week or so ago with the Divine Reminder in it.

Being out of reach of mom and dad, and everything with which he was familiar, I told Jubei that Kami-sama is still with him, for Kami is everywhere. Saki, the spirit of his sister, is with him. But to help him remember, I had him put the Divine Reminder on his backpack and told him “Kami-sama is going with you to school, so if you get scared or have problems, ask Kami for help, and then go to the teacher.” I received a confident, “OK.”   I felt this paralleled the teaching

The descendants of those who listen to Konko Daijin's words and practice faith will live without worry.  Teaching your children how to live without worry is practicing true faith.  (GI: Yamamoto Sadajiro 68)

I was doing well, my heart was not blaming the other kid or parents until that Friday morning I found out that the boy actually followed him. That takes it up a level from just disagreements to bullying.  But that’s when this teaching “red flagged” me, and calmed my heart.

When I speak (I believe this is Konko Daijin speaking), all of you listen well to what I have to say.  Be sure, however, that upon your return home you do not become the type of religious person who scolds and worries their family.

There are people who give good lectures but end up with only the lectures.  Those who live their faith should first understand what they have heard and practice it themselves before telling others about it.  If you are a minister who merely preaches, no one, including your family members, will listen to what you say... (GIII: Jinkyu Kyogoroku 24:1-2)

Especially after just teaching a class a few months ago at FTI on People; People’s relationship with Kami, and people’s relationship with each other, where I emphasized in my conclusion: “Remember who you really are, You are a child of Kami, and always try to live your life in this perspective while treating others as a child of Kami.” I really had to practice what I preached.

I wanted to be honest with Jubei, let him know that I was upset that he had been hurt, and also because (eh hem) … concerned family members here and there told him “just point him out, I’ll beat him up for ya!” I explained to Jubei that I felt the same at first, but then thought, “would that make the boy happy? How would his mother feel, would she be happy?” to which I received a “oh, no, not happy.” Then I told him, “No, we need to pray and ask Kami for help about what to do. You go to school to learn, not only ABCs, but how to play well with others, too. Let’s pray ok?”

Although he cried Friday morning, he seemed much happier then he had been all week when we picked him up. After Andy and I spoke with his teacher and Andy asked him if he had fun in school, he perked up “yes!” And told us how he played at the dinosaur station WITH the other boy, and he didn’t say go away!

I was shocked. Wow, that was quick. Then suddenly I remembered to clarify to Jubei once more what we had prayed for. And did he receive that blessing? Yes? What do we do then? “Say thank you to Kami.” Yes.

Thinking back on this experience, I realized that the role of a parent is to teach their children faith. And that Faith is a 5 step process: teach them

• To Pray, and what to pray for
• To do their part
• Watch for signs/outcome/blessings
• Acknowledge the receipt of a blessing or if not, recognize the detour sign and return to step #1
• Give thanks so you can receive again.

But this is not only for parents, it is for everyone who practices faith.

What should be the goal in practicing faith?  The sick come to pray for a cure, while the healthy come to pray for a good harvest or for a prosperous business.  But these goals are only temporary.  When practicing faith, you must look forward to a future free of anxiety, or else your faith won't continue. 

In order to free your future from anxiety, not only must divine blessings be received by you, but also it is important that you practice a faith that will be passed down to future generations.  (GIII: Yamamoto Sadajiro 7:1,2,3)

I would like to end with the last sentence of the teaching:

… If you tell your child about the blessings of faith, he will naturally follow you in his practice of faith. (GIII Jinkyu Kyogoroku 63-1, 2)

Children will follow wherever you lead them. Whether you have brothers or sisters, children who are small or grown up, or have any child around you, they are always watching our lead. So I pray, with help from Konko Daijin’s teachings and Kami’s guidance, we can lead them well.

Thank you.

[There were a few more days of teary mornings the following week due to seeing other kids fight. He told me between sobs, “Okasan, they always fight. They don’t know Kami.” Surprised at his comment, I explained that Kami too was sad like him. It is good that he has Kami’s heart, but that’s why his father and I, (and many more in his family) are ministers who help Kami through goyo. It was a wonderful opportunity to explain Faith. Now (4 weeks into school) Jubei is all smiles, and has expanded his prayers to include his cousins’ safety at school as he continues to pray for his friends who “don’t fight so much anymore!” We are very grateful to Kami for this experience.]